


chasing the sun

by pilindiel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Fluff and Angst, Love at First Sight, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 02:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pilindiel/pseuds/pilindiel
Summary: It's mid-afternoon in Trost – the sun is painting the sky in hues of purples and oranges as it sets behind the distant mountains – and it's precisely at that time that Marco falls in love.





	chasing the sun

It's mid-afternoon in Trost – the sun is painting the sky in hues of purples and oranges as it sets behind the distant mountains – and it's precisely at that time that Marco falls in love. He's six years old, knees scraped from helping his mother work, and his skinny arms are full of baskets for her shop.

He sees Jean for the first time in that crowded marketplace, maneuvering through the heaps of bodies with his mother's hand diligently guiding his shoulders. His fingers are pudgy but his eyes shine golden in the setting sun and his flaxen hair looks like the wheat fields that remind Marco so fiercely of Jinae.

Marco can't remember if he said anything – the memory is faded with time and jumbled – but he remembers Jean's smile, how he grinned with his whole face, eyes pinched up at the corners, and how he was missing his two front teeth.

It struck Marco down to his soul and even as Marco's mother ushered him out of the crowd and back on the road, Marco still recalls how his chest ached for days after.

* * *

 

It's years later when they meet again. They're lined up in neat little rows, like ducklings set up for the slaughter, and honestly that's a nicer outlook than most of the people here. They're enlisted in a war against monsters, and it's so hard to gauge who will be here at the end of it all and who will just be ashes on a funeral pyre.

Marco tries not to think about it.

Instead he indulges in friendships, in Jean's smile and his pride, and tries to tell himself that when Jean puts a hand on his shoulder or leans in close to tell him a secret that it doesn't send a thrill up his spine.

It's only late at night that Marco lets himself indulge in silly ideas like telling Jean how he feels, about holding his hand and intertwining their fingers, about kissing him.

Jean has grown much from the little boy he used to be; his hair is still flaxen, eyes still gold, but his face has matured into sharp lines, his limbs long and lithe. His grin is sharp and his wit is sharper, and Marco falls even deeper into a feeling he's refused to put words to.

He promises himself that they are best friends, that he's happy as long as Jean is, but it's never quite as simple as he'd like it to be.

Love never is.

* * *

 

The Battle for Trost is agonizing. They're all bright eyes and bushy tailed, running head first into a war they know so little about, and it hurts even more to watch comrade after comrade fall to an onslaught they knew was coming but would never be ready for.

It's a surprise as many of them survive as they do.

Marco can count on one hand how many of his friends survived, and he hates how his chest aches the longer it takes for Jean's squad to reach the rendezvous point. Marco is seventeen, a man in everything but experience, and he refuses to hide his nerves every time his head whips up at the opening of the door. The wooden bench is hard against his thighs, knees bouncing with restless, terrified energy, and a resolve forms before him.

No more hiding. No more guessing. There's blood on Marco's uniform and he's too distressed and exhausted and terrified to identify who's it is. Their lives are meaningless. Their decisions are final.

Marco refuses to let something as simple as unfounded fear stop him anymore. They don't have time to be timid. There's no time to second-guess.

When Jean muscles his way through the heavy oak door, Marco doesn't hesitate.

He jumps to his feet and runs to him, arms wrapping around Jean's torso. He buries his face in Jean's shoulder, whispers confessions he only thought of in his sleep, and Jean's breath shakes against Marco's hair.

Marco never expected a reciprocation. Jean was always chasing after pretty girls with long hair, joking about settling down with a family once this all blew over, and when Jean pulls back from their embrace to press a fervent, heated kiss to Marco's lips, Marco realizes that maybe this whole event was just as much of a revelation for him as it was for Marco.

Not that he really has time to think about the implications. Marco ignores the hoots and hollers around them as he cards his fingers through Jean's hair, pulling him closer. When they finally pull back from each other, Jean is flushed and smiling and his eyes and nose are red from unshed tears and Marco falls deeper than he ever thought possible.

* * *

 

The years are not kind, but Marco and Jean combat it with overwhelming kindness to each other. They discover dark secrets of the interior, and after long conversations spent whispered in bed and shouted across their dining room table, they work with Erwin Smith and his crew to dismantle the Military Police from within.

Nothing is easy – people are betrayed, lives are lost, and Marco has to wonder yet again how many more times he's going to have to clean the blood of friends out of his clothes.

But Marco finds solace in the little things; in Jean's rekindled rivalry with Eren, in the way everyone has grown more into themselves as people, in the way Jean tangles their fingers together when they walk down the street.

Little things that remind Marco what they're fighting for and what they stand for, even when the foundation of their world crumbles around them.

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY JEANMARCO MONTH, BABIES. Day one is now posted so thank you for waiting! Had a shitty long weekend but now I get to safely go back to work and the daily grind :')


End file.
